Bryan Johnson Snapped: Comedy Birthday Song

[Intro] Happy Birthday, Bryan Johnson! Happy Birthday, Bryan Johnson! Happy Birthday, Bryan Johnson! [Verse 1] Happy Birthday Bryan Johnson, let’s raise a toast, To the guy who’s making death look like a joke, He's been biohacking, all through the years, Measuring biomarkers, conquering fear. But today’s the day, he threw it all away, At McDonald's eating Big Macs all damn day. Forget the greens and the protein shakes, Bryan Johnson's swimming in a Mountain Dew lake! [Chorus] Bryan Johnson snapped, on his birthday too, August 22, catch him at the drive thru! Burgers, fries, and pizza on his lap, Chuggin' beer, takin' shots, he is drunk, no cap! Bryan Johnson snapped, now it's all junk food, Ice cream sundaes, yeah, he's in the mood! Cigarettes too, taking real deep drags, All he wants for his birthday is a big candy bag. [Verse 2] He used to track every calorie he ate, Now he's eating cake like it’s his god-damn fate, McDonald's fries? Yo he got a whole truck, When people asked why, said he needs it for luck. No more greens, and no more kale, It's the bacon pizza donut holy grail. He’s washing it down with an ice cold beer, No more sauna either, yo this is death's year. [Chorus] Bryan Johnson snapped, on his birthday too, August 22, catch him at the drive thru! Burgers, fries, and pizza on his lap, Chuggin' beer, takin' shots, he is drunk, no cap! Bryan Johnson snapped, now it's all junk food, Ice cream sundaes, yeah, he's in the mood! Cigarettes too, taking real deep drags, All he wants for his birthday is a big candy bag. [Bridge] He’s the healthiest man, but today’s a break, He's chowing down Chinese Food for heaven's sake! A birthday binge, no science in sight, Bryan Johnson, don't die on this bender all right? [Chorus] Bryan Johnson snapped, on his birthday too, August 22, catch him at the drive thru! Burgers, fries, and pizza on his lap, Chuggin' beer, takin' shots, he is drunk, no cap! Bryan Johnson snapped, now it's all junk food, Ice cream sundaes, yeah, he's in the mood! Cigarettes too, taking real deep drags, All he wants for his birthday is a big candy bag.