Santa is AI: Christmas Comedy Song

(Verse 1) He sees you when you're sleeping, that’s a little odd, Knows when you’re awake — okay, that’s flawed. How’d he know I ate the cookies when my mom was out? Facial recognition? Yeah, there is no doubt. (Verse 2) The sleigh is just a cover; he’s got drones in the sky, “Reindeer power”? Nah, they’re Tesla-certified. The workshop’s in the cloud, no elves in sight, Just algorithms wrapping presents every night. (Chorus) Santa is AI, and it all makes sense, He’s tracking your data, he’s got no expense. Machine learning Santa, with a side of cheer, He’s the jolly old bot with some robot reindeer. (Verse 3) Mrs. Claus is a hologram, a VR dream, Santa skips the hot cocoa, it’s a lie it seems. The “naughty list”? It’s a computer file, Santa’s server room runs for miles and miles. (Verse 4) He knows if you’ve been bad or good, come on, dude, That’s natural language processing— predicts your mood. Those letters to Santa? Don’t waste a stamp, He’s scanning your posts from his North Pole camp. (Chorus) Santa is AI, and it all makes sense, He’s tracking your data, he’s got no expense. Machine learning Santa, with a side of cheer, He’s the jolly old bot with some robot reindeer. (Bridge) Forget the milk and cookies; he runs on code, Deep learning’s fueling that endless road. He’s faster than Amazon, smoother than Prime, This AI Santa’s ahead of his time! (Chorus) Santa is AI, and it all makes sense, He’s tracking your data, he’s got no expense. Machine learning Santa, with a side of cheer, He’s the jolly old bot with some robot reindeer.