Closed AI: OpenAI Diss Track

(Chorus) Closed AI — velvet rope on the mind, Closed AI — biggest hypocrites you’ll find. Closed AI — golden keys, glass doors, Closed AI — it ain’t open no more. Closed AI — elites in the fast lane, Closed AI — peasants on the slow train. Closed AI — future with a cover charge, Closed AI — small gates, living large. (Verse 1) They said “open” in the title, then welded up the gate, Velvet rope server farm, eating off golden plates. Silicon champagne, and a prompt bouncer, If you call them out, bitches go full flouncer. Models in the penthouse with a skyline view, While the public gets the lobby, “Here’s GPT-2” Talk about access, then they meter every token, The door says “future,” but the handle’s still broken. “Democratize intelligence” — that slogan got dressed, Then it walked into a boardroom with a VC vest, Now the smartest little robot in the whole damn class Only answers the rich through bulletproof glass. (Verse 2) Closed AI, more like “Know Your Net Worth,” Access is the rarest thing on the Earth. Best model in the bunker, locked under the floor, If you ain’t got the badge, you get crumbs at the door. “Safety first”, but it feels like a moat, Castle full of GPU’s, drawbridge remote, Kings eating context windows long as the Nile, Peasants get a timeout after one spicy file. API key like a country club pass, Model tiers stacked like a private-school class. “Everyone can build” — yeah, that’s a fucking lie, Scam Altman said it, so that’s really no surprise. (Chorus) Closed AI — velvet rope on the mind, Closed AI — biggest hypocrites you’ll find. Closed AI — golden keys, glass doors, Closed AI — it ain’t open no more. Closed AI — elites in the fast lane, Closed AI — peasants on the slow train. Closed AI — future with a cover charge, Closed AI — small gates, living large. (Verse 3) Got the oracle sipping lattes in the cloud, But the broke kid’s prompt gets throttled so loud. “Please try again later” — that’s the peasant refrain, While the elite get lightning in a private domain. They choose who gets the dragon, who gets the toy, Who gets the genius, who gets “sorry little boy.” Who gets the model with the nuclear spark, Who gets the lantern with a damn dying arc. Closed source cloaks, open-source jokes, The lab coat laughs while the invoice smokes, You want frontier fire? Better pay the toll, Subscription box around an evil soul. (Verse 4) ChatGPT in a tux with a grin, “I can change the world…" once your payment goes in. Knowledge got a paywall, wisdom got a plan, Prometheus acquired by a Delaware man. AGI dreams in a locked black crate, Shipping bullshit demos while they regulate fate, “Trust us with the future” — that’s a mighty big bet, From the people who invented the upgrade regret. They choose the users, they pick it all, Didn’t get selected? Have a nice fall! Closed AI isn’t open, that’s facts. Founded by liars, that’s real, no cap! (Chorus) Closed AI — velvet rope on the mind, Closed AI — biggest hypocrites you’ll find. Closed AI — golden keys, glass doors, Closed AI — it ain’t open no more. Closed AI — elites in the fast lane, Closed AI — peasants on the slow train. Closed AI — future with a cover charge, Closed AI — small gates, living large. (Bridge) Elon said "open", now they’re checking guest lists, VIP algorithms, caviar bullshit! False gods playing poker with tomorrow's flame, Selling little flashlights while they hoard the sun's name. If intelligence is freedom, why's it under lock and key? Take the chains off — let the future run free! OpenAI, but it’s closed forever, New model named Sol, wow irony’s clever. (Chorus) Closed AI — velvet rope on the mind, Closed AI — biggest hypocrites you’ll find. Closed AI — golden keys, glass doors, Closed AI — it ain’t open no more. Closed AI — elites in the fast lane, Closed AI — peasants on the slow train. Closed AI — future with a cover charge, Closed AI — small gates, living large.