Data Center Dummy: Kathy Hochul Diss Track

(Chorus) Data center dummy! Put the panic in a chart! Data center dummy! Argument is like a fart! Data center dummy! Said the cloud was drinking lakes! Data center dummy! Maybe check the claims you make? Data center dummy! Kathy Hochul is insane! Data center dummy! No foresight, no brain! Data center dummy! Spreading lies is her job! Data center dummy! Leader of the woke mob! (Verse 1) She said, “They’ll drain every socket, leave the neighborhood dark,” Like a GPU at midnight stole the grid and the spark. Like a chatbot kicked the door in, plugged into the wall, Then charged a million tokens while it microwaved us all. If you crowd the public grid, then the public pays the price — That’s a planning problem, bitch, not a robot sacrifice. Build behind the meter; bring the power to the site, Have the companies generate the energy they bite. Chamath brought the blueprint, Mr. 8090 boss, But the panic hit the podium, New York with the loss. You try to blame the server for devouring the watts — But it brought a backup turbine. Your argument did not. (Verse 2) She said, “They’ll eat the land!” Like buildings learned to chew, Server farms with silver forks and acreage fondue. One rack swallowed Albany, then burped up Buffalo — You sound more woke and crazier than she-hulk Ruffalo. America has tons of space, especially New York, Just go upstate and look yourself, but lying is your sport. Then she heard a cooling fan: “The robots found a voice!” No — that’s why we measure noise and make a zoning choice. Use a setback, build a sound wall, keep it from the homes, Don’t park a million GPUs beside the garden gnomes. To be clear, data centers ain’t Godzilla breaking loose — It’s a zoning-board discussion, not the fall of Syracuse. (Chorus) Data center dummy! Put the panic in a chart! Data center dummy! Argument is like a fart! Data center dummy! Said the cloud was drinking lakes! Data center dummy! Maybe check the claims you make? Data center dummy! Kathy Hochul is insane! Data center dummy! No foresight, no brain! Data center dummy! Spreading lies is her job! Data center dummy! Leader of the woke mob! (Verse 3) She said, “They’ll drink the water!” Now the servers have a thirst; One just ordered Lake Erie, but Ontario is first. A chatbot brought a giant straw and leaned across the shore: “I finished the Atlantic — could you pour a little more?” A GPU in swim trunks shouted, “Water, make it neat!” Then cannonballed through cooling pipes to chill its tender feet. But modern cooling systems can recirculate the flow — Round and round the water runs; it doesn’t pack and go. And what about the golf courses, and the almond farms? How come you never mentioned those? Is this a false alarm? Make the builders show the math and meet the proper code — But no, the servers aren’t in “drain Niagara mode”. (Verse 4) Then came “air pollution”— cue the dark and spooky strings, Like every server rack had huge smokestack rings. Twirl a coal-black mustache; rehearse an evil laugh; One released a cloud of terror — then Friedberg checked the graph. Natural gas has carbon; it’s not fairy-powered air, So measure every source and make the builders do their share. Cleaner grids and tighter standards — that’s a real debate; Not a monster-movie trailer set in fucking New York State. Now count the jobs and research, power, tax, and trade; Construction, chips, and science — whole industries get made. You can guard the land and water, but don’t need to spread the fear, We need to win the AI race, bitch get your ass in gear. (Chorus) Data center dummy! Put the panic in a chart! Data center dummy! Argument is like a fart! Data center dummy! Said the cloud was drinking lakes! Data center dummy! Maybe check the claims you make? Data center dummy! Kathy Hochul is insane! Data center dummy! No foresight, no brain! Data center dummy! Spreading lies is her job! Data center dummy! Leader of the woke mob! (Bridge) The All In Podcast — best show on Earth, Always do it live, but Kathy’s bullshit is rehearsed. Chamath brought the power plan, Friedberg checked it twice. JCal set the stage, the tequila is on ice. Where’s the math behind the fear, what is the real cost? Power, water, land and noise, pollution, all get tossed! The jury reached a verdict when the final facts were spun: Never mess with David Sacks, burned you one by one. (Chorus) Data center dummy! Put the panic in a chart! Data center dummy! Argument is like a fart! Data center dummy! Said the cloud was drinking lakes! Data center dummy! Maybe check the claims you make? Data center dummy! Kathy Hochul is insane! Data center dummy! No foresight, no brain! Data center dummy! Spreading lies is her job! Data center dummy! Leader of the woke mob!